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L.A. Teachers’ Strike, the Egg That Broke Instagram & China’s Historic Moon Landing | The Daily Show

October 24, 2019


Teaching– it’s not an easy job, unless you’re a gym teacher, because then,
you’re allowed to hit the kids. (laughter) I mean, yeah,
they call it “dodgeball,” but we all know the truth. Anyway, too often, educators in America
are not compensated fairly, which is why this happens. Tens of thousands of teachers
in Los Angeles are expected to strike this morning in the nation’s
second largest school district. Educators are demanding
more counselors and librarians, plus a full-time nurse
in every school, in addition
to salary negotiations. Talks broke down Friday
and were not renewed over the weekend. That’s right.
Teachers in the nation’s second largest school district
are striking. So if you’re in L.A., expect to hear some
grammatically-correct chants. “What do we want?”
“More pay!” “From whom do we want said pay?” (laughter) “One at a time.
Please raise your hands.” (laughter) Now I’m not gonna lie.
I’m not gonna lie. It’s hard not to be on the
teachers’ side in this dispute, firstly, because I don’t think
teachers ever get paid enough. And secondly,
they’re also asking for more school counselors
and one nurse per school. That’s like the most reasonable
list of demands I’ve ever heard. Like, I wish bank robbers
were this reasonable. It’ll be like, “I’m not gonna
release the hostages “until you open up
another teller window. “And also, I want the chain
on the pen to be long enough “to reach the thing
I’m trying to write on. Just a long enough chain!” “Not a chance. Not a chance. Kill some hostages,
then we’ll talk.” (laughter) Moving on–
some news on Instagram. It’s where anyone
can be a model, you know? All you need is an ass
and a dream. And now,
there’s a new Instastar. For nearly a year,
Kylie Jenner has held the record for the most liked photo
on Instagram. It was this one here, the first
photo of her daughter Stormi. It’s been liked
a whopping 18 million times. Many thought
that could never be topped, but that was before
World Record Egg. An account with that very name
posted this single photo. It’s a picture of an egg. The caption reads, “Let’s set
a world record together and get the most-liked post
on Instagram.” Well, social media users
accepted that challenge. The egg not only beat
Jenner’s record of 18 million. It crushed it. The egg currently has
26 million likes and counting. The egg has 26 million likes
and counting. Bow down to your new queen. (laughter) This is egg-citing. This egg is so popular,
they actually just announced that it’s going
to be hosting the Oscars. Yeah,
which I’m really happy about, because they’ve never had an egg
before, and if you… Oh, sorry. Hold-hold on. Sorry. Oh. Sorry. I’m being told the egg has been fired
from hosting the Oscars. Apparently, they just found
the egg’s old tweets. -(laughter)
-Really, really sad. So, congratulations, egg. You are the new champion
of social media. I hope you enjoy your time
at the top, because soon, you will find out
that Instagram fame is… over easy. (laughter) Moving on to some news
from China. They’ve not been having
a good time recently, right? Their economy is in trouble. Their infrastructure
is crumbling. And their generals haven’t
invented a new chicken recipe in, like, 50 years. But over the weekend,
they got some good news that sent them over the moon. China has landed a spacecraft
on the dark side of the moon, and now,
we’re all getting a chance to see what it looks like. He’s part of a 12-minute video that the Chinese National Space
Administration released. It will study the moon’s terrain
while it’s there and bring back samples
here to earth. That’s right. China just became
the first nation to land
on the dark side of the moon. And this is a big deal because
this is the side of the moon that we never get to see,
all right? Unless you give it a few drinks
and bring up its ex-wife. And then,
the moon gets dark real quick. And I know… I know it may be
a difficult concept to grasp, but basically, right, because
of the way the moon rotates as it circles the planet,
there’s a whole side of the moon that we’ve never seen
from Earth, all right? It’s like the left side
of Mariah Carey’s face. -(laughter)
-Yeah? It’s never facing us. We don’t know
what’s on the other side. (laughter) So, the question…
the question now is… what will China find? Everyone wants
to know what’s there. My guess is,
the far side of the moon is where
they hide the movie set where they faked
the original moon landing. -(laughter, groaning)
-Think about it. All right, and finally, big news
from the world of sports. The Saints, the Rams,
the Chiefs and the Patriots are all moving on
to the conference championships. And while these teams
are moving on, Chicago is stuck in the past. Chicago, still reeling. You saw the game from
Cody Parkey’s missed field goal. Yeah, in last week’s
Bears-Eagles playoff game. That knocked Chicago out
of the playoffs. So much, in fact, that a Chicago brewery sponsored
“The Parkey Challenge,” where 101 people lined up
and attempted a 43-yard field goal. MAN: Fan after fan continued
to try to kick their way for a successful field goal. Many of them falling down or kicking the stand
in the process. (audience groaning) Whoever came up with this idea
is a genius. (laughter) Yeah. No. You know why?
You know why? Because sports fans always act like they could have won the
game, right, when they’re barely
winning in life. People sitting at home, like,
“You idiot! “You should have passed the ball
earlier, goddamn it! Oh, Mom, my hand is stuck
in the Pringles can again.” (laughter) I think we should do this
for everything. Everyone that has too much of
this when they don’t do the job, be like, “Oh, that pilot’s
landing was horrible.” “All right, Sully, why don’t you
take the controls?” “No. If I was Thor, I would
have gotten Thanos in the head!” “Well, it’s funny you say that, “because Thanos
is outside right now. Uh, why don’t you take
that ax and prove it.” “Oh, I would, but my hand
is stuck in this Pringles can.” But easily, easily,
my favorite attempted field goal was this one. AUDIENCE:
Oh! (laughter) Oh, man. The bright yellow vest was not
the protection that man needed. And now his balls have
a concussion.

100 Comments

  • Reply orlanino February 17, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    A change of heart. Noah, you started to punch down. Punching up is ok, punching down, not so. Seems you are slowly forgetting your roots and your views.

  • Reply ShadowReaper2006 February 19, 2019 at 5:23 am

    Teachers are bad, they support child abuse.

  • Reply H S February 22, 2019 at 2:08 am

    3:48 “mysterious as dark side of the mooon” – Li Shang

  • Reply 9ima Perry February 23, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    Getting Mulan vibes here.
    Dark side of the moon….Mulan…. China

  • Reply Sachita Pathak February 27, 2019 at 3:58 pm

    Oh, I just love this man. How cutie pie he is

  • Reply Dianathe Dinosaur March 2, 2019 at 12:32 am

    That egg has 53 MILLION likes, wtf

  • Reply Ben From Texas March 2, 2019 at 4:27 am

    I am 31, and guys getting hit in the nuts is still funny to me 🙂

  • Reply Justus Green March 2, 2019 at 11:55 am

    Nah people was really getting on thor about that tho and star lord too

  • Reply Tawakalt Oseni - HKF March 3, 2019 at 12:17 am

    Lol
    Patrick Neil Harris must be your god

  • Reply Angel L'Mae Roberson March 5, 2019 at 12:38 pm

    I’m sorry no. If you get a base salary of 9 million dollars to kick that ball, then you need to be able to kick that ball -_-
    I’m still salty

  • Reply CelestialWolf March 7, 2019 at 10:18 am

    How have I NOT seen a Mulan "I'll Make a Man Out of You" reference in these comments? If I wasn't so proud of all the wholesome comments full of love and happiness, I'd be disappointed.

  • Reply Gaveraa Charles March 9, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    "And now his balls have a concussion" 😂😂😂😂😂👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏❤👌

  • Reply Ajax Delos March 14, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

  • Reply Sleepless March 15, 2019 at 4:49 am

    Wait dont the moon rotate on its own axis while circling the earth?

  • Reply Tristan Just do it March 18, 2019 at 5:28 pm

    This guy is amazing

  • Reply CardBrosUnion March 19, 2019 at 7:36 am

    There is no such thing as the "Dark Side" of the moon. Only the far side. #moreuknow

  • Reply Alexander Romero March 20, 2019 at 5:42 am

    Janitors get payed more than teachers

  • Reply john mtonga March 26, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    it has now reached to 53million lol

  • Reply Deepak Pareek March 26, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    This is what the EGG is trying to spread: https://youtu.be/O6ONhEYeB9g

  • Reply Ngcebo Trésor M March 28, 2019 at 8:23 pm

    Teachers where I live get paid 20k (roughly converted from Rands to Dollars) a year, teachers handle all sorts of hardheads & misfits in school. They are indeed underpaid.

  • Reply Rodrigator _X April 4, 2019 at 5:41 am

    5:55 in my opinion, Thor likely missed due to stress from the things that had happened and the 50 or so meters between them (plus Thanos's blasting probably redirected it

  • Reply Sugar Bee Fire April 4, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    My school needs more counselors. The beginning of the year is absolutely hell for them because of college applications.

  • Reply Lucas Layton April 6, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Why is that moon video black n white?? It's 2019.

  • Reply Gia V April 7, 2019 at 12:42 am

    “Mysterious as the dark side of the moooon!”

  • Reply Melody Rages April 7, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    I was shocked when my history teacher told us that in South Dakota, it is illegal for teachers to go on strike. What makes it worse is hearing my teachers (who are amazing and kind) casually talk about having some of the lowest salaries in the nation.

  • Reply iqra ejaz April 8, 2019 at 5:47 am

    Now the egg record is 53 million

  • Reply Luis Herrera April 11, 2019 at 9:26 am

    Please don't damn in the Lord's name

  • Reply fakhrizza arrifi April 12, 2019 at 9:31 am

    Even the superpower of the world have this teacher problem.

  • Reply Prince Extasy April 16, 2019 at 4:55 am

    hahaha… come to Ghana (Africa) and you will go back praising your government for their efforts

  • Reply Mutago Awases April 16, 2019 at 4:53 pm

    Hope i get invited to this.

  • Reply Mamta Agrawal April 21, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    Kat georgia is no where

  • Reply Uniqueorn _ April 21, 2019 at 8:58 pm

    How did you only find out about the egg now???

  • Reply Tiphannie Byakuleka April 23, 2019 at 1:42 am

    "And now his balls have a concussion" 😂😂😂😂😂 kills me every time

  • Reply Jared Wallace April 26, 2019 at 6:56 am

    Trevor is the man. Love this guy truth telling.

  • Reply Magnus Lolz April 28, 2019 at 8:30 pm

    Mulan??

  • Reply Tutoring Bayamon Puerto Rico April 29, 2019 at 2:21 am

    Really!!! You are getting like what 64$$$ths….wow really when in Florida is 40ths…with less benefits and crowds classroom

  • Reply Creepy Gaming April 29, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    The egg story had a really great outcome though!!

  • Reply Dream is to reach 3000 subscribers May 4, 2019 at 2:50 pm

    Next thing we know, they will be auctioning off that egg… I bet it's the owners best prized possession now…

  • Reply Retribution May 4, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    I had to skip the news and go straight to the egg. Didnt even finish the video… Those goverment cover ups are getting better and better

  • Reply Abdourazak Mohamed Idriss May 7, 2019 at 3:18 pm

    Noah you're an a$$ but i like you 😂😂👏👏 tell the french manifests "the yellow vest won't help

  • Reply Yezpahr May 9, 2019 at 2:11 am

    Reused: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgPJqCJWxaA&feature=youtu.be&t=1138 in the current video: 4:42 :/

  • Reply Ali Alahmad May 9, 2019 at 3:23 am

    but the earth is flat and the moon is a ball 40 mile away

  • Reply Админ Рут May 11, 2019 at 4:22 pm

    Damn. where did trevor got this pic of teacher of 9th -12 graders. It seems like the teacher wearing tight (petite size) long sleeve suit shirt to get attention of Students If i was an 11th grade student, i would definitely get aroused and would want to f**k her and i would even ask her for it, the way she is presenting herself, is eye opening.

  • Reply Админ Рут May 11, 2019 at 4:32 pm

    2:10 EGG has 26 million retards who worships EGG! Wow!!! Chicken Hen, you must be proud to hatch that egg.. Where is the fucking chicken hen who hatched that egg damn it!!!!???? They should give her a GOLD MEDAL!! WHY NO ONE GIVES LIKE TO THE HEN?

  • Reply Mandi pants May 14, 2019 at 4:23 am

    No longer "as mysterious as the dark side of the moon" men sorry!

  • Reply ירמיהו Williamson May 14, 2019 at 9:12 am

    Who else went to IG to like the egg?!

  • Reply gazepreyed May 19, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    Be a man

    You must be swift as a coursing river

    Be a man

    With all the force of a great typhoon

    Be a man

    With all the strength of a raging fire

    Mysterious as the darkside of the MOOOOON

  • Reply Niceness_of_Gemini May 26, 2019 at 10:37 pm

    3:24 Mysterious as the Dark Side of The Moon!!

  • Reply Jai Parwani May 28, 2019 at 7:07 pm

    It is a king

  • Reply David Russell May 31, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    His face

  • Reply The History Critic Guy June 4, 2019 at 3:01 am

    My guess in the dark side of the moon is a whole fleet of space Nazis!!!

  • Reply Dragonlord the king of dragons June 4, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    My school the nurse is literally one of the people in the office and it's the person who has to sign you in. Not exactly nurse worthy

  • Reply MrHyro June 5, 2019 at 7:45 am

    The egg was symbolic of all those precious aborted zygotes? Mind blown!

  • Reply Yana Yagu June 19, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    Hilarious

  • Reply Abigail Zimmerman June 23, 2019 at 2:21 am

    They’re now trying to get the egg the most liked video on YouTube.

  • Reply Nina Aptekman June 25, 2019 at 12:55 am

    He is so adorable and smart, and funny…just awesome! 😀

  • Reply Carlos Lunna June 25, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    go for president !!! the state of union would be hilarious!!!!

  • Reply Newme newme June 27, 2019 at 8:51 pm

    I am so confused and freaked out right now……..where am i going and what am i doing?????

  • Reply Newme newme June 27, 2019 at 8:54 pm

    I am so confused and freaked out right now……..where am i going and what am i doing????

  • Reply Lamine Mesroua July 3, 2019 at 2:59 am

    "Instagram, it's where anyone can be a model, all what you need is an ass"😂😂😂

  • Reply Vithu Uthaya July 7, 2019 at 11:16 am

    1:20 he started souding like Noah Ritter from ellen show

  • Reply Hans Weissman July 8, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    I literally repeated 06:03 23 times……It's fun….

  • Reply digital subliminal messages July 9, 2019 at 4:21 am

    S T O P. R A P E I N G. B A B I E S
    No its not // and i was lile yeah keep at it if your serious …ill be there // rmyhe reason yall lrotest never work cause like all the others , yall don't stick with it / that was all of a week

  • Reply Vitor Rodrigues July 9, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    Just Checked. It has 53mil now.

  • Reply abdiwali warsame July 9, 2019 at 11:19 pm

    Lol this is eggciting

  • Reply Alleszins; zinloos. Nu nog dood. July 10, 2019 at 1:15 am

    Why a chai nah know a moohr? Orrah dos a why a im ah pry?

  • Reply gunjeet bhatt July 16, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    This guy is so good..even his one line of whole script. Got 2 M views..!

  • Reply MISKAY BB July 17, 2019 at 12:50 am

    Eggciting💔😂

  • Reply Nahid Khan July 17, 2019 at 2:49 pm

    I just liked the egg today

  • Reply bill Johnson July 19, 2019 at 12:29 am

    This dudes patato face looks like a sideways butt, Always got a "I pooped" look on it

  • Reply Jatoryaah Desouza July 20, 2019 at 6:17 am

    The same thing happened in my country….and I live in the Caribbean so that's saying alot

  • Reply zarwash fariaby July 22, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    😂😂😂😂

  • Reply Kyle Merritt July 26, 2019 at 2:25 am

    *far side of the moon

  • Reply Timothy Adams July 26, 2019 at 5:28 am

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😎👍

  • Reply Destiny Bonilla July 27, 2019 at 9:29 am

    As a LAUSD student, I can confirm that was one of the best weeks during the school year.

  • Reply Cabs The Clydesdale July 29, 2019 at 9:42 am

    The saints huh? Third street for life anyone?

  • Reply lokesh divekar July 30, 2019 at 6:56 am

    teachers in japan be like dhuuuu

  • Reply Maverick_is _right_ July 31, 2019 at 3:17 am

    All white people have punchable faces Trevor.

  • Reply Tom Kenney August 5, 2019 at 1:55 am

    ALL BILLIONAIRES ARE DOING A TERRIBLE JOB!!! Wait, what? You want me to…? Oh, I don't know about… Can I hire someone to take this Pringle's can off?

  • Reply June Ulufale August 8, 2019 at 11:14 pm

    Sings the song from mulan *mysterious as the dark side of the moon * lol

  • Reply Ma'am August 10, 2019 at 11:13 am

    Both my parents are teachers is the LAUSD school district and my whole family went on strike. My aunt is also a teacher, and 3 of the 8 cousins went to strike with our family (the youngest 3).

  • Reply Brennen Cox August 11, 2019 at 9:31 am

    *Far side of the moon

  • Reply Bryan Willib63 August 14, 2019 at 12:05 am

    You two faced sob..

  • Reply Lullebye August 16, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    We are the second largest? Damn

  • Reply Lindalee Law August 20, 2019 at 4:19 am

    " If you can dodge a,wrench, you can dodge a ball"! O.M.G ! lol

  • Reply Madara Uchiha August 22, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    So nobody would be scared that maybe the dark side of the moon has like alienistic creatures that eat ppl yes I watch too many sci-fi films

  • Reply Carol Norton August 24, 2019 at 6:01 am

    The far side of the moon is not dark. it revolves around the earth, not the sun.

  • Reply aditya ghiya September 3, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    Bright yellow vest…really Trevor? That's neon!

  • Reply Adrian van der have September 4, 2019 at 2:26 am

    Just shows how much time is spent on nothing important, go egg. This just in Egg photo on an app which does nothing for our lives has most likes in history while in Washington another government shut down(figure of speech) takes place as life long standing career criminals, I mean politicians, once again old man babies can’t fix the problems they started when they were in their 30’s or their fathers caused to make real Society worse for generations.

  • Reply PICK NONAME September 7, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    6:11 his mouth tho

  • Reply Greta September 8, 2019 at 7:29 am

    I think if I was Trevor I wouldn't be able to stop laughing at my jokes

  • Reply KittMouri September 16, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    How in the world is there not ONE nurse in every school???? That seems not just basic, but it seems like it would be illegal NOT to have one! …also, Trevor's laugh is a national treasure. ❤

  • Reply Jenifer Aire September 22, 2019 at 10:15 am

    Well guess what Lil Eggie has over 53 million likes on that photo now

    ….. The world is trying to say sth to the Kardashians

  • Reply Ron Taylor September 27, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    I’m surprised no one has said anything about Mulan and “the dark side of the moon”

  • Reply dim tawng October 7, 2019 at 1:07 am

    look at all those chicken

  • Reply Donald Phahlamohlaka October 7, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    Thanos is outside right now😂😋😋😋😋

  • Reply Clint Beam Quillope October 9, 2019 at 7:39 pm

    So this sparked Trump's Space Force? Mariah's face?

  • Reply beauty queen October 17, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    I'm the biggest fan from Pakistan

  • Reply kiTTy gAlore October 17, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    His balls have a concussion 🤣🤣

  • Reply Big Electron October 21, 2019 at 9:28 pm

    That’s a cool meme 3.06

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